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Sunday, November 29th, 2009

Time:2:59 am.
so this facebook...

I looked up the three best friends I had in 5th grade. I went to Silver Lakes elementary school for a year and made three best friends where a hangout would include Crazy Taxi and eating chicken nuggets quietly while throwing the word "gay" around. And discussing modern art of course. My English was still a bit awkward, I was still shaping a red, white, and blue personality out of the hyperactive kid that had just moved from Panama. Anywho,

I still remember their last names. So in this harshly cold Orlando hotel room, I looked them up out of boredom.

One of them, Ed Jiminez, was a clean cut kid. His mom was nice. A very hispanic upper class kid. The one with the large large house and he always had the best 'school uniform' polo for some reason. Our first group hang out was at his house. I remember walking in and commenting on how weird it was that they hung up gigantic carpets on the walls as decoration. I think I used the word 'gaudy' for the first time then. He was a bit taken aback. And I remember farting (accidentally? who knows) and he seriously got offended in his 5th grade self. The fart was probably so strong it might've stained his billion dollar Turkish couch. I wasn't invited back as he regurgitated his mom's words back to me ('disrespectful about the decor in our house'). I still say a carpet should be on the floor and a fart is a wonderful contributor to a 5th grader's laughter.

Well when I looked him up, I was taken a back. His neck is the size of a planet, his -ceps are horribly exaggerated, and he has a douchebag's pout in his facebook profile pic. He also uses words like "wack". I'm sure he would call me names and beat me up with his Axe body spray. On to the next one.

The next one is Justin Hernandez. He was the one I was the closest to. I made him laugh and he made me laugh. Sort of a mousy looking kid. We had a crush on the same girl but alas- she was hispanic as well. So they went out for a day or two, behind a playground. I looked him up and again was surprised. His profile pic is shadowy, revealing only his face but it's still recognizably mousy. Decked out in camouflage and other army related FAsH10N gear, it was a bit odd trying to picture him making me laugh.

The other one is David. He was the fat funny one of the group. He had a single dad and constantly wore chains that weighed his neck down. Sorta buggy eyed and baggy jeaned. Never really found him that funny. I mean in 5th grade, gay humor was hilarious. It was regurgitated South Park humor without the awareness of humor. Just an onslaught of gay jokes from that kid. Always. I looked him up. He doesn't even have a facebook.

Then I looked up Jessica Nunez. My first crush here. We were both in gifted class and sat in the same table. A cute girl who wore canary yellow shirts with denim overalls. Sort of an ethnic Nickelodeon dream. The best I can say about her current state is....well, she looks like a party animal. An FSU student who always wears club dresses in every setting.

I haven't updated lj in a while. By now, nobody probably reads this site. It's the blog's myspace. All I see whenever I do visit are Amor's rumination on life or some Prog community's updates of their own music. Anyways, my nostalgia is now a horrible douchebag club child who makes me sad inside.
2 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Time:9:50 pm.
I am now attracted to Larry David, both sexually and intellectually.
I watched every interview I could find of him, for a moment or two, thought naturalism was
the greatest method of creativity ever.


6 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Time:2:07 am.
The Constants:
Weight loss debacle.
Near disastrous financial situation.
Flirting with the arts.
Relationship with thoughts of jetpacks.

New Thangs:

So I've settled into a new house, a new job, new classes, and a vaguely friendly city called Gainesville. Two of my roommates are hairy balls of humor and irreverence that I am fitting into nicely. Been hanging with the ever so OCD firecracker Kevin constantly, which is always a pleasant necessity. I am the child of the house, with Shane and AJ being the erratic parents. We've been watching True Blood and other progressively minded HBO shows (camp stories with tits in them, really) like a threeway married couple. I've been cooking incessantly and feeding the boys. Red vinegar and garlic will make tomato and tofu the greatest thing to touch your mouth this side of Zimmern's gay inner-self. Anywho.

This will be the year that everything dies and a pathetic gunslinger will rise.


PS. For those of you who have no plans for Halloween weekend, come to my house and you'll have a place here. This smelly excursion called "The Fest" is also happening, if that tickles your fancy. Beds and warm food will be provided. I'm looking at you Orlando and Tallahassee.
1 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Time:4:27 pm.
In Jersey and New York for the past few months:

-Gained 10 pounds.
-Ate a lot of Indian and junk food with Chloe.
-Got my septum pierced.
-No music, no work.
-Sold phones.
-Ate a lot of food made by mom.
-Slept in no AC-cooled room.

In Gainesville, I will:

-Lose 300 pounds.
-Eat nothing but watermelon (new obsession), tea, and prunes.
-Get an infection in my septum.
-Play a lot of music, work a lot.
-Sell food.
-Miss the hell out of my mom and her cookin'.
-Sleep in a lovely blue house with two hairy guys with AC BLASTIN

let's do this, motherfucker.
Make Pretty Speeches

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Time:12:30 am.
public option's gonna be cut.

my family has no insurance.

seems like the whole legislative process/system has to be overhauled in some revolutionary terms, or
all the republicans somehow have to die for this thing to even be seriously considered.

I was in a mood to write some optimistic entry about love, longing, and optimism too.
3 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Subject:Born within you
Time:4:43 pm.

I covered seven songs from Bruce Springsteen's "Born in The USA".

Being born in the UK and not relating to any of the songs (the stories or the production of the album)

i thought it would be interesting to change the arrangements of the songs while only singing some of the lyrics

to make it more about a heartbreak, not the crumbling midwest Bruce sings about.

I know only a handful of people read LJ, so yeah, here it is.

hope you enjoy it.

7 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Monday, July 27th, 2009

Time:12:29 am.
I've got a new job at a Verizon store. I operate the store alone for 10 hours which freaks me out but I'm getting used to it! Hopefully I'll be able to save up money and give it to my mom as a gift. Apparently she hasn't been able to pay for the $800 to get her real estate license up here.

Every other day, I have been going into New York on a bus/train combo, where I have been building towers of little inside jokes with Chloe. Such warmth that family brings. In the heart of the Marcy projects where drive-by's happen (Chloe and baby Helen even witnessed one) and Michael Jackson music still blasts from every stoop, a four story building of a handful of Aryan folks has become my favorite spot.

Anywho, I hope I can bring someone up here this winter or next summer to share the northern air.
Hope everyone's doing well in their own day to day life!
3 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Friday, July 17th, 2009

Time:6:39 pm.
I sell phones now. I cell phones.
1 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Time:12:58 am.
I'm in Jersey now after two months of Orlando-dom. I've effectively gained bear weight, can officially say that I have not ONE but TWO chins I think. It's wonderful here. There's fire flies everywhere that spark up randomly making every walk some sort of wonderful. And there's no humidity. I saw two deer frolicking in the fields when I took my sister to a picnic. get to see my mom and sis everyday. saw a skunk with my dad and made dog noises cos we were terrified of the potential toot it was gonna spray at us.

found a pile of old pictures from childhood. we were all looking through them with nostalgia flowing out of our pores with anecdotes and giggles. If I could turn back time.. Cher was onto something.

my mom was gorgeous. I miss everyone. goodbye now.

3 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Time:2:14 am.
bonnaroo was gooooooood.
got some of the hippie love back that retracted about a year ago.
all blood and bones from here (with far too many chemicals in em').
I'm back with bite and vigor!

I want to end my life with a person who has justin vernon's falsetto, trent reznor's beefy neck, and miriam's cool.


I give you this half-assed, tired grinned promise:

I will be on a stage in bonnaroo within five years.

1 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Time:9:38 am.

2 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Time:9:33 am.


that is all.
our whole hemisphere should be up for review one of these days.
with a cheap pinch of who-gives-a-fuck.

Make Pretty Speeches

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

Subject:Wine Flu.
Time:1:59 am.
So my Freshman year of College is over. Fucking fast, ey.

     In the past few days, I signed a lease for a wonderful house with two rad peeps (Jewish Indie kids as they described themselves) for a reasonable price and I think I've eased up about my financial situation. It's still a very tight rope I'm walking on. Or rather sleep walking on with little indication of awareness. But I'll worry about that later. Anywho, there's a porch, two garages we're planning on converting to a recording space, and a newly furbished kitchen that I'm excited to fuck up with my various cooking exploits. It's in front of a Mississippi Ghost of the South sorta house, two minutes from a pawn shop, and two minutes from the club filled downtown area. A perfect balance.

     Kevin and Christian have been wonderful roommates. Those rich little buggers are living in the dorms next year (jussskiddddding). Fell in love with those two over the last year, and Kevin and I now share a bond and a friendship now that I think has incorporated a thud of a respect and fart-filled, smores-scented love for each other. As for Christian, I think I can safely say I have a super saiyan friend now.

    Like Spector, I'm thinking of whether or not to switch sides at the moment. Not politically, but 'spiritually'. Saw thing a sermon of Rick Warren' a month ago, and it's been surprisingly the one thing that springs up in my mind so many times. Made a lot of stances clear to myself about Christianity, Religion, Mythology, and Atheism (basically that all of it's necessary bullshit), but as for the subject of God, I find myself still on the fence about it. It's been helpful though. Still praying like a child/having a conversational prayer to "something" everyday. I'm at a point where I find fully believing or not believing that there is a divine figure to be unnecessarily pretentious for a human. No matter what I go through, I will eternally talk like a doe-eyed child to something up there, seeking comfort. I may have symbolically and defiantly thrown away the gold cross I used to wear around my neck, and triumph intellect over religion any day, yet I'm such at ease in a prayer.

    Been going to the gym EVERYDAY (proudly!) for the past four weeks from the day I saw the Rick Warren sermon (coincidentally or due to the fact of). Eating healthier, biceps noticeably grown! (from flab to kinda having a shape), feeling better.
   For now, I'm working out regularly and praying with full belief to either an actual divine figure, an answering machine that's filled up, or my self. Well, as I'm looking forward to my stint in Orlando, I might come out of it as a pretentious know-it-all existentialist fuck with 30 more pounds gained. Which is exactly the person I'm trying to transform out of.


Been listening to Leonard Cohen's live in London incessantly for the past few weeks. He said this great quote about when he had a decade-long Sabbatical in a Buddhist temple.
"I studied the arts of religion for years, but cheerfulness kept breaking through".

2 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Time:7:27 pm.

I would fucking love to play this.
4 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Time:6:54 pm.
You know

I don't cry very much. When I grew up, after seeing fights of parents, failures, disappointments, fainting mom, drunk dad, obligatory teenage heartbreaks, I hardened up. I became a man, bottling up any bad emotion inside. And I remember, before this month, the last time I actually cried was when I saw my mom cry two years ago.

Such a strange feeling. I haven't had anyone remotely close to me have a baby in a long while.
Last time was my sister being born I think.
Anyways. The beautiful baby was born on Chloe's birthday, which means that
as she turns 18, Chloe and I will be around 36 years old. I'll probably still be
listening to hip music of 2009, with her gawking at me because I'm not listening to
the classical techno folk (Which IS going to be the music of the future).
God this baby's making me feel old.

3 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

Time:12:50 am.
does anybody have/can download Amadou et Mariam's "Welcome to Mali"?
1 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

Time:9:39 pm.
So as it is Easter Eve, Kevin and I worked today, with my Easter dinner being two bananas, orange, and loads of free meat. My Easter hymns were assortments of pop music playing at my work. Nothing like Lady Gaga telling me to just dance, while I'm scraping wasted foods off of plates.

Anywho, Sound of Music's on. Not gonna lie, the movie has a special place in my heart. In England, I remember having a few VCR tapes and learning how to work the vcr. I t was when I didn't even know how tapes worked, but along with some Mr.Bean and Police Squad tapes, I cherished Sound of Music. I watched it incessently throughout the years. Even as a kid, I knew it was something wonderfully innocent and profoundly warm. I didn't even know what the Nazis were, what nuns were, what country it was based in, or even if what I felt for Julie Andrews was love, infatuation, or a 5 year old's lust for a bowl cut woman. I knew all the songs, loved all the children of the Von Trapp family, and had the melodies thriving in my head. I was at a loss for words when I visited the glass garden house where they sing "Sixteen going on Seventeen" in Austria.

Well...Now, it's a bit strange watching it as an adult. First of all, the kids are fucking annoying. They all say a line, and then as soon as all of them had spoken, they all start grumbling in unison. One kid clearly has a German accent while the others are British. I mean, Jesus Christ. I get it you don't like the new mom. But give her a fucking chance. She's trying her best. And Captain Von Trapp...still dashing, I suppose. Still the epitome of the alpha male from that era. But god, it saddens me that a man, with that smooth voice and inflection cannot exist today. He is stuck in that time period, as a swarmy ass. And Maria..Maria, Maria. What a woman. Before there were babysitters, she was THE mothafuckin' governess. Come back to my life, Maria. Into my still developmentally stalled 5 year old heart.

But anyways, Sound of Music rerun, and the children are singing "Favorite Things" to make themselves better as MARIA COMES BACK, YA'LL. SHE'S BACK! THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHIT.

Happy Easter. Hope you know this was somehow a metaphor of a nostalgia trip, not a confession to being an extremely flamey child.


holy shit, Baron Von Trapp is the bad old guy from Minority Report.

Make Pretty Speeches

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Time:1:44 am.

This is what I do when I'm bored and pathetic.
I make realistic but ridiculously fake articles.
2 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Time:11:31 pm.

been keeping up with all the major TV shows:

House, Family Guy, Office, 30 Rock. With Lost, I just fall behind, read some shocking summaries, and get on with life without the complications it brings to my thought process. The middle aged white woman in my limbs is great.

Anywho, writing a book sure is hard work, huh? Personal challenge or not, which I just thrive on (weight loss challenges, nocturnalism, test patterns, cleanse, fast, work, food, eat, play, make music, God, No God) , but this whole life of small and big games is exhausting. This is how my fucked up head works. You know when you walk-race with a stranger, or even with a car, while they are completely unaware that they are in a race? In that moment the road or the sidewalk, to you, is an epic display of competition. Well I do that with myself with a lot of things. Of course the success rate is pretty low.

And this place is sort of a score sheet for myself, riddled with a few glitches.


Finally drew up some planning.
Got switched to dishes at work because I could relish on the wastefulness of Americans, not smile at people (Which was a problem to them), and listen to some tunes.
Went to the gym then the library, cancelled out the workout by getting a vanilla latte.
Made some songs. Not sure how living arrangements are gonna be.
Lemon cleanse start reset tomorrow I hope.

Read that like a robot.

All the while, wishing furiously that I talked more like Mos Def, in that sort of tired, big-lipped, smooth velvet chocolate, seducer of the big booty mamas kinda way.

ya feel?

Anyways, other than that
here's to hoping that everyone's trying to do their best,
not being an ass about what they've been given, inspired and inspiring, active and proactive.
Vote for Obama, guys. WE NEED THIS! 

Look at this MUTHAFUCKA.


2 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

Time:9:45 pm.
 A sweet embrace is all I'm asking for, ya know? Playing for a bush, hoping it shakes. That's what I want.

Anywho, as I saw 20 of the most powerful people in the world in one room,
and heard about how Obama took China and France, one by one, to a corner
to alleviate a spat in some magically perfect metaphor, I realize how it's such
a great story. Obama's the fictional protagonist that no author wish that they could create.
The best qualities of Hitler, Khan, Roosevelt, and Jesus. But yeah, I'm enjoying
this story very much. The GOP-ites are shaking themselves and calling witches out,
the liberals are already looking how beautiful the world was through blue
campaign eyes with Will.I.Am remixes, all the while the atheists, the pot smokers,
and the 1 percent voice is slowly gaining momentum in pitchfork blues.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I WANNA MAKE PUSSY GRINDING MUSIC.


1 Met An Army Of Me/ Make Pretty Speeches

LiveJournal for Jujork.

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